A silly little thing, but I can’t resist a copy and paste of one of the best bits of spam I think I’ve ever had:

Dear celebrity,

May I kindly ask you to send me one or two hand-signed autographs.

I am an enthusiastic collector of autographs for many years and would be delighted to increase my collecton with your photo and signature.

Thanking you in advance for your effort, and much luck and success for the future.

Kind regards form Alfred the Autogroph Collector,
from Schopfloch at the Romantic Road, Midddle Frankonia/Bavaria.

He includes an address. Am I really enough of a celeb to respond? Of course not, but while I’m pretty certain every other councillor has got one (at least in Wandsworth, since I think that’s where he scraped the address) I can die happy that Alfred thinks I’m Z-list at the very least.