I’m assuming few will benefit, there are fairly strict limits on campaign expenditure which I can only imagine a newspaper wrap-around would breach. Indeed, I remember a lot of trouble being caused when a well-wisher independently put a ‘personal’ ad in the local paper expressing support for John Bowis in the 1997 election. I’m also a little cynical about the circulation claims (I can’t remember the last time the paper was delivered to me) so will probably rely on our own distribution network.

Personally, I’m worried that Brown is dragging this out so long that even the local paper’s advertising department has election fever. Thank God it will over be over soon.

Dear celebrity,

May I kindly ask you to send me one or two hand-signed autographs.

I am an enthusiastic collector of autographs for many years and would be delighted to increase my collecton with your photo and signature.

Thanking you in advance for your effort, and much luck and success for the future.

Kind regards form Alfred the Autogroph Collector,
from Schopfloch at the Romantic Road, Midddle Frankonia/Bavaria.

He includes an address. Am I really enough of a celeb to respond? Of course not, but while I’m pretty certain every other councillor has got one (at least in Wandsworth, since I think that’s where he scraped the address) I can die happy that Alfred thinks I’m Z-list at the very least.